All of this is true.

Since conference week is basically over (finished the draft two hours ago, bitches!), I can finally live without my computer long enough to send it in for repairs under the warranty. Which is magnificent. Because the screen is going out; if I nudge it, everything fucks up until I feel around the edges of the monitor and press together in a very specific spot, and that heals it for a while. And look at how awesome my computer is, holding together until I've finished my most important paper of the semester, what a trooper.

Anyways, I need to attatch a post-it to the computer when I send it in:

"Dear Compaq:

Why does your repair service involve me sending my computer to you and then not having a computer for several weeks? Going several weeks without a computer has not been okay since I was born - which is why I've been holding out on sending this to you, until I finished my exams and didn't need it every day of my life. So as long as you're taking care of the monitor...

The power cable is only able to send power to the PC intermittently; I need to twist the wire into the right place or it falls back onto battery power. Which sucks, because the battery's also fried; a nudge while the PC's running off the battery and the whole unit shuts down. Also, I think the wi-fi card melted.

Also, sometimes when I touch the speakers, they spark and the computer turns off. And as long as you're at it, could you do something about my optical drive not being there?"

I'm pretty sure they're not going to replace the battery or the cd-drive, even though it was their shitty construction that got the disk drive snapped off in the first place. Still, everything else should be covered under the warranty.

...oh, man. Those guys are gonna be so pissed.

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Now playing: Unknown Error - [Fear No Evil LP #06] Fear No Evil [foobar2000 v0.9.4.1]
via FoxyTunes

Suck on this, Freud

I had a dream last night.

Before I go on about that, though, I want to make sure we're all on the same page. So we're clear: I get super excited whenever I get a dream. I don't know if it's the insomnia or the insanity or what, but I only ever get about one a year. Before tonight's, lats night's, whatever, I only remember two.

From two years ago: I was sitting outside, on my back porch, and all of my pals were there. The grill was up, we had hot dogs cooking or a barbecue going, or something... and we chat around and chilled and chatted and smoked.

And that was it.

Last years? Finally, finally, I got one: Zombie Apocalypse. I never fucking get zombie or vampire dreams, I've always wanted one, and last year, I finally got it: The newsmen were screaming on the television --"Zombie Apocalypse is HERE" "Do not attempt to rescue your loved ones!" "Stay in your houses and lock your doors" "If you see one of the enemy, do not make contact" "The End Is Extremely Fucking Nigh" -- and so on. So I got up. I walked into my basement. I walked into my zombie shelter. And I shut the door behind me.

There was enough water and food. Nothing went wrong. I waited it out and everything was chill. Nothing went wrong.






The entry isn't over, I just want you to take a minute to dwell on that.





Okay, good? Well now you can see why I'd be so eager for this year's shot. At this point, I could raise my track record by having a dream about cutting off my foot with a bandsaw.

I did not cut off my own foot with a bandsaw. Instead, I had a dream that was clearly influenced by watching too much anime.

Which has nothing at all to do with whatever you're thinking of. I did not have a six foot long magical sword. I could not cast magic. I couldn't shoot fireballs or fly. I couldn't even catch 'em all. Nope. Instead, every woman who has ever been in my life decided, on the same day, that they were going to act on their suppressed lifelong attraction for me. Friends. Friends' girlfriends. My elementary school teachers, one of whom it turns out is actually really hot, so goddammit, I guess. But yeah. Every female influence in my life.

And boy, was there drama. Oh my god. My fourth grade teacher - the hot one - was doing some heavy campaigning and scheming to get me away from the other girls, and good old Rachel from the coffeeshop, I think she may have killed someone, god bless her. Some classmates were just going at it like cats, and oh, you know who else was stirring up trouble? My girlfriend. Yes, even in my subconscious, every single person I knew waited until I was no longer single to reveal their lifelong crush.

So how did it all play out? Who won? Did any of the girls have enough character and savagery to beat out all the other girls for my attention? Did I just settle for the annoying female lead? Or - how 'bout this, -did I stay faithful to my girlfriend even in this time of adversity? Well not technically, no. (~Scandalous!~)

I lasted for four hours before I drove myself off a bridge.